Insights on Death Through Grieving

In the case of someone loved but not well known: what is the cause of sadness, considering the death does not affect our life?

Why do we feel sad?
We are certainly not happy that the person is dead and gone: that would be at least considered cruel and disrespectful. So are we sad because we feel that it is disrespectful not to? Other societies, take Mexico for example, do not feel sadness equates to respect. The Day of the Dead (El dia de los muertos) is a days-long celebration that honors ancestors through merriment. Therefore, this sadness in lieu of disrespect is supplied mainly through the values of the society in which we live.

Our American society supports this theory: that death is final, it is the end; that this is the reason we should be sad. But I disagree: what if we had been merely told that we should never see the person again, not that the person is dead? This news would perhaps be slightly disturbing, but not entirely ground-breaking. Remember, the person in question was someone we had met only once or twice. However, what if we had been told nothing of the person, and merely never saw him again? Would it disturb us? Not at all. This leads me to believe that the certainty that we should never see the person again causes grief. We have knowingly surpassed the final meeting of this person; therefore we should be unrealistically sad.

Humans like to have options. When you take that away, we get uncomfortable.

This unnecessary grief stems again from the American perspective that death, the end-all, is a bad thing.

There are many alternatives to this unhealthy, prejudiced ultimatum: acceptance. The way I think of it is this: Love the memory of the person as we would during his life.

Most definitely, we are not required to grieve when someone we love dies. Being glad that a person is dead would yes, be cruel, but grief is not needed for respect, except perhaps for the family. Acceptance and rejoicing is absolutely much more fun.